What Are Your End-Of-Life Wishes

Christopher Bolich, D.O., medical director, AtlantiCare Palliative Medicine

We’ve all made wishes in our lives. Some of them come true, especially when we take steps to make them come true.

Many people spend more time planning for weddings, birthday parties, and vacations than they do planning for what care they want or do not want to receive at end of life.

Making a decision about your end-of-life care is something most individuals don’t seriously think about until they are at that stage.

We are uncomfortable talking about end of life situations. We’d rather discuss who is bringing the turkey to dinner than what we want done if we can no longer eat, drink, or breathe on our own.

What care you want or do not want at the end stage of your life?

Have you thought about whether you want aggressive life-sustaining care, or comfort measures only?

Do you know who will make decisions for you if you are not able to do so?

Make a plan and share it with your loved ones and healthcare providers.

If you are 18 or older, you should have an advance care plan. This is called an advance directive for healthcare or living will. It includes an instructive directive, detailing what care you want; and a proxy directive, detailing who will make decisions for you.

If you have a serious illness, you should complete a Practitioner Order for Life Sustaining Treatment – or POLST form with your doctor. He or she will also sign the form, giving it the same authority as any other medical order.

Your family and your healthcare providers - especially your primary care provider – should know your wishes. By completing these documents, you direct the care you want.

Making your wishes known helps relieve your loved ones from having to make decisions for you if you are not able to do so yourself.

At AtlantiCare, we see the angst families and loved ones go through when they have to make a decision when they are already distressed about a long illness or abrupt tragic event. Family members do not expect their loved one to suffer a critical injury and end up in our Trauma Intensive Care Unit.

I have seen families get broken up because of arguments among children about what their parents would want.

If you had not seen your spouse in 20 years because you did not get along – but you were still legally married – would you want him to make the decisions about your care? One of my patients was in this situation.

When individuals do plan, their end-of-life journey is what they want it to be.

In my early years as a physician, I was primarily doing house calls. Being their primary care doctor, I had a special bond with them. Most were so seriously ill they could not get out of their homes. I was able to have frank conversations with them about what care they wished to have.

That primary care provider relationship is so important for your overall health and well-being – which includes your quality of life at its end. My wish for you, is that you will plan to have the conversation with your provider and your family.

Learn more about Advance Care Planning here.